tate

Four years ago, my son died at birth. He has his father's name as his first name, and before he was born, we planned to use my father's name as his middle name. At the time of his death, my husband's brother (would be the only uncle) was out of the country and would not be able to participate in the funeral etc... So, we decided to honor him by using his name as a middle name instead. I also had feelings of wanting to use my father's name for a future child. We found out several weeks after the funeral that not only did this not honor the brother, it "freaked him out" in his words due to his fear of death. There was not even a thank you for the thought expressed. There has since been a massive falling out and no one on that side of the family speaks to us anymore---further adding to my regret in choosing the name. Now, we have completed our family, 3 beautiful daughters. I am having deep regrets over wasting my only chance to honor my dad in this way. A friend of mine has said to me that it is always possible to legally change a name, and I want to make this right, but am also very conflicted. I do not want to take my son's name away---but feel like that is what I did that day at the hospital. Also, we have many keepsakes engraved with his name as well as the urn for his remains. Please, I know this problem may sound strange--I enjoy humor as much as the next person, but this is so difficult--I am asking please no insensitive replies. Thank you.

I was verbally abused as a child by my peers from kindergarten to eighth grade and I have noticed that in my adult years negative comments from anyone from inlaws to total strangers have a deep, lasting impact on me emotionally. I know in my head I should not "let it bother me", --especially when I know they are out of line/ wrong about what they have said---but emotionally I just keep hearing it and I would like advice on how to deal with this. I look at my life on paper, and should feel confident and acomplished, but this sensitivity to nonsense has a way of negating that confidence in my mind. This has gotten worse since the death of my son 3 years ago. I am not sure what to attribute the increased negativity to surrounding that, or if I am just that much more "raw" because of it. Thanks

This was a first experience for me. I know they autoclave their instruments, and they applied some stuff that had a powerful sting to stop the bleeding. Not sure if this happens often or if I should be concerned.

I have recently received emails that were sent from my mother in law and father in law to my sister in law that contained malicious lies following a confrontation at my home this past Jan. The confrontation occured because I will not let my children go to their home without my husband or myself because my 2 year old daughter was left unsupervised by a pond in their back yard when they had a marital spat. The lies were told to all members of my husband's family and those people have not been speaking to us. (husband tells his parents that we both feel this way, but they continue to insist that it is my doing) The lies involved my mental status, implications that I have been verbally attacking all members of the family, and gossiping, and my mother in law insists that I am in denial about the death of my son 2 years ago being a doctor's mistake and she is angry that we did not sue the doctor and spread rumors about my personal medical information. None of these are remotely true. I am a quiet person, I have been grieving for my son, a miscarriage and the loss of my grandfather during this time. Now I have been asked by them to write a list of everything I wish the relationship had been over the last 15 years and they say they want to start over. I don't know how to respond to this. I don't want to be a fool, but don't want to be the "unforgiving stone cold" person that they accused me of being. Please help!