wolfboy

In Genesis 1:24-26, Ceiling Cat creates all the living stuff and creepie things BEFORE he makes peeps an kittehs, yet in Genesis 2:18-19 aminals are clearly made AFTER he made peeps.....

GEN 1

24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.

25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.

26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.

GEN2

18 An Ceiling Cat sed, teh man is alown an dat iz bad; he needz frendz so i wil maek him a gud help fo him. (i iz gud at stuf liek taht. srsly. An it will keepz him outta trubbel.)

19 An owt ov teh grownd Ceiling Cat madez al teh aminals on teh urfs an in teh see, an al teh burdz up in sky (an sum liek ostrijes who cudnt flyz, just fur fun). (Ceiling Cat is raely good at makingz mud pies. srsly.) An brot them untew teh man to c what he wud cal tehm: an wut teh man caled evry living aminal, dat wuz its naim. (if they didnt like it, tuff tamales, they wuz stuck wif it.)

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?tit%E2%80%A6

Archaeologists working near Jerusalem have recently unearthed a number of parchments believed to be the precursors of the Dead Sea Scrolls. In amongst them were these little titbits:

Gospel of Bruce 3:11

And so Peter said to the Son of God while walking in the Garden of Gethsemane "My Lord I will follow you into the pits of Hell itself, but sandals are so 32AD"

2 Sven 8:9-16

Jesus said to the servants, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet." They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into banana daiquiris with those tiny little umbrellas.

Carlotta 2:12 Oh my god oh my god oh my god!!! Those Roman centurions are sooooooo hot.

or is it only when the fursuit comes off that there's a problem....?

Now when she did that, I did not cast her out of my house to wander out in the harsh world, and didn't even send her to her room.

And if I had, I would not require her belief the words of someone who lived 2009 years ago before I would let her come back, let alone condemn her to eternal pain and damnation for her disbelief.

So how is it that I, an ordinary human being can show more love for my children than the almighty, all loving Christian God....?

Just read some interesting news articles on those craaaaazy hindus, and was a little curious. Purely hypothetically of course (Down Fido down!!!)

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,311079,00.html

http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/Article.aspx?cp-do...

Australia's first Nobel Prize winning woman, Professor Elizabeth Blackburn, has discovered a a way to help cells overcome cancer, and general wear caused by ageing.

Though in it's infancy, this research has potential to halt, if not reverse the process of ageing altogether.

If a treatment was ever available that allowed humans to never grow old, therefore potentially allowing humans to live forever, who do you believe should have access to such treatments?

And if you answered everyone, how do you propose to overcome the problems of a overpopulated world wear no one ever dies (except maybe through violence).....?

Any other general thoughts on the matter most welcome.

http://www.smh.com.au/world/science/outspoken-aust...

Or does it only apply if you post pictures of it on Myspace.

I've looked all through Levitcus and even given Deuteronomomy a brief lookin but have come up empty....

Now when she did that, I did not cast her out of my house to wander out in the harsh world, and didn't even send her to her room.

And if I had, I would not require her belief the words of someone who lived 2009 years ago before I would let her come back, let alone condemn her to eternal pain and damnation for her disbelief.

So how is it that I, an ordinary human being can show more love for my children than the almighty, all loving Christian God....?

If God truly existed in the way most Christians believe him to, surely through his will everyone one on this Earth would have heard the unbiased word of Jesus by now so as they could make up there decision of whether to accept or reject Christ, and therefore go to Heaven or Hell.

Yet there are still millions of people who have not been exposed to Christianity, such as Amazon indians, many pygmy tribes in the Congo etc etc.

So what happens to these people when they die still worshipping Ju Ju the mountain god....?

As we only live once, do these people get a special exemption, or are they condemned to eternal agony for not accepting the word of someone they have never heard of. Do kids molested by pedophile priests have the same exemption as many through no fault of their own see Christianity as evil. Where exactly does God draw the line in the sand...

And is God angry at Christians for not ensuring his word has been spread all the way across the globe....

And when you got there, you saw for yourself that Jesus was merely a very inspired man, not the Son of God, and did not rise from the dead.

I've noticed that you guys never actually play hypotheticals, but in the spirit of the following question where many atheists said they would sh*t their pants if Jesus actually did come back, how 'bout you give it a go.....

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am...

I've already had to up my glasses prescription 3 times in the past 6 years, and I'm only 23....

or more to the point, plants with narcotic components within them. We're talking weed, shrooms, peyote, salvia divinorum stc here. If he didn't want little bugs to eat them, there are thousands of bad tasting natural poisons present within other plants he could have given them.

Could this be taken as a sign that he doesn't really care about people getting stoned....? Is there actually some scripture in the Bible that says 'thou shalt not get high'?

He doesn't seem to care to much about Christians getting a little tipsy after a few beers. And alcohol causes 95% of the worlds substance abuse problems

I've already had to up my glasses prescription 3 times in the past 6 years, and I'm only 23....

Some how I've found myself helping out with a Christian youth group. Im fairly sure that kids of seven can handle the fact that Jesus was merely just a very enlightened man, and was no more the Son of God than you or I. I mean most of them don't believe in Santa any more either.

I thought I may teach them some useful stuff like how amazing the natural world is, how all religions are equally valid, and maybe how to channel the power of one's mind through spells and rituals. Kids always love learning how to read tarot cards, and candle magic is always fun. The drawing down the moon ritual is truly enchanting, though I'm not yet sure how I'll convince the parents to let the rug rats out around midnight....

Note I chose NOT to use the word ape.

Certain elements on this forum keep accusing me of having a monkey as a distant cousin. I just thought I'd find out everyones thoughts on THEIR alternative...

Archaeologists working near Jerusalem have recently unearthed a number of parchments believed to be the precursors of the Dead Sea Scrolls. In amongst them were these little titbits

Gospel of Bruce 3:11

And so Peter said to the Son of God while walking in the Garden of Gethsemane "My Lord I will follow you into the pits of Hell itself, but sandals are so 32AD"

2 Sven 8:9-16

Jesus said to the servants, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet." They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into banana daiquiris with those tiny little umbrellas.

Carlotta 2:12 Oh my god oh my god oh my god!!! Those Roman centurions are sooooooo hot.

to Steve....

(as written by some of the fathers of the early Christian Church; Clement of Alexandria 325 AD and Eusebius of Caesarea - Sibylline Oracles)

as much as we enjoy happy ones...?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2yLfCF_O%E2%80%A6

We constantly strive all our lives for happiness and contentment in our lives. Yet in our when it comes to music, theatre or movies there's nothing humans love more than feeling sad, afraid or suspense.

Whether you are a theist or not, why do you think this is....?

..feeling of God's love (or Allah's, or Vishnu's, or Odin's or that of the Goddess...) experienced by people of other religions, religions which you regard as false, or inspired by Satan.

Assuming there is a God, how can you be sure that your version is correct, or more to the point, that your beliefs about God are not merely different cultures attempts to describe the indescribable?

Now I can already see half of you are part way through typing something about Jesus, but let’s face it, most other religions also have stories of men performing miraculous feats in front of many witnesses, and many also have stories about people rising from the dead.

How do you get past the Richard Dawkin's argument that if you were born in India, you would be a Hindu, or if you were born in the Middle East you would be Muslim, or if you were African you would be worshipping Ju Ju the god of the mountain. That your version of God, and all that you know about him, is merely a product of your culture.