SAL

We received a quote to refinance for $3500 down (no points) for 3.75 percent. We're currently at 5 percent. We would save about $175/month after refinancing and it would take 20 months to break even. We just closed on this house of April of this year and anticipate being here for the next 5-10 years. Having never refinanced before, does this seem like a good deal?

My husband and I have been married for 6 years, together for 9 years. We have two kids - one three-year-old and a one-year-old. Ever since I got pregnant with the second, our sex life has ground to a halt. He gained some sympathy pregnancy weight that made his already big frame - very big. He's a lot bigger than when we first got married and, to be honest, I don't find it attractive. I can't even muster enough energy or interest to even pretend. However, part of me feels desperate to have something of me when I was younger - to just have one free pass to have an unadulterated passionate fling. The fantasies are endless. I told him his excess weight was a problem for me to get "in the mood." He's trying to lose weight but he's been trying for longer than I've known him - it's just the past year the weight has gotten out of control. I even asked for a free pass (which he said no). I don't want to hurt him, as I love him, despite how this might sound. I'm just a sexual woman - I enjoy it - and want to have those feelings again with someone other than amusing myself. In the end I'll probably not do anything to jeopardize the marriage but unless he does something drastic about the weight, I've zero interest in having sex with him. Has anyone been in this position and what did you do?

This is more of a vent - we are selling our house and the buyers have an FHA loan. We went through the inspection process (we had an inspector, they had an inspector, etc.), agreed to the terms, then the appraiser comes in and this is what he found:

-From where he stood in the backyard, he could not see the garage roof so, therefore, something was "wrong", he wanted a two-year certification on the roof.

-Since the house was built in 1938 and there was flaking paint on the garage door and in one storage closet, it, therefore, had to be lead-based paint. He wanted an abatement.

Here was our response:

-Are you a licensed inspector or roofer? Did you get on the roof? His answer - no. We had three roofers come in and the prices for the certification came in at $195, $900, and $1600. Seriously, for what? We, obviously, went with the $195.

- Did you test the paint flakes? Did you pull up public documents showing that room was remodeled in the 1980s? Do you want the can of paint we used to paint the garage door six years ago? Do you know anything? His answer - no. Luckily the underwriter said we only had to scrape and paint over the flaking spots.

Ridiculous. Appraisers are not trained to make these types of assessments. They are supposed to assess the value of the home in terms of comparable properties in the neighborhood. Potentially he could have cost of thousands of dollars on worthless "repairs."

Have you ever heard of appraisers taking these liberties? BTW - we reported him to have his license suspended.

So we have a 13-month old now and it's been wonderful. I'm currently 35 and am thinking to start TTC #2 now so that the kids will be closer in age. My husband lost his job in November but has a freelance teaching position and I work full time. I just finished losing all of my 58 lbs gained during the last pregnancy and feel that we should just go ahead and start trying as it took a year for the first. When I mentioned this to my mom the other day, she was less than enthused (perhaps thinking she might become a daycare - she watches the baby twice a week now). I know there's never a "perfect" time but I would like to put all pregnancies behind me (I'm not a very good pregnant woman - lots of complications... bedrest, pre-eclampsia, etc) and just have our little ones. Is it ridiculous to start for number 2 now given the circumstances?

I know everyone TTC asks this question but we've been trying for 8 months and my period should have started on 7/23 yet it hasn't. I had some weird spotting a couple weeks back and some cramping that I didn't pay much attention to and I'm trying desperately hard not to get my hopes up but you know how that goes.... I was wondering if anyone knew anything about how your CM might look if you were pregnant? I just started tracking temperature a few days ago so have no real guidelines on that right now. My CM is dry and what little appears is clear. Are these any indications of anything? I don't want to "waste" another test, how long should I wait? A week?

Hi there - My husband and I have been TTC for close to a year now. Here's the history: Ectopic (19 yrs old, reportedly no damage to the fallopian tube), chlamydia (24 yrs old, treated), HPV for a while but no longer, endometriosis (32 yrs old) outside of the ovaries. It's been about a year since the endometriosis surgery and we've been TTC for about 7 months. My ob/gyn surgeon didn't see anything wrong with the tubes or ovaries when she was in and didn't think we would have a problem conceiving. However, I have irregular periods and am considering taking Vitex and Royal Jelly for the time being until we both go in and have tests done on our fertility. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. It seems we have a lot stacked up against us and I'm trying not to get down about the situation.

I wonder...I've had several friends and acquaintances become new parents in the past year or so (and then some others go on to their second kid). It's the first-timers that are annoying, though. They put their baby on the phone so you can listen to them breathe (2 months old), they talk non-stop about the variety of poop consistencies, and, then, they have nothing else to say about anything except the baby. The ones who have already done it are much more well-rounded and can actually carry on a conversation about something other than baby poop. I just wonder why new parents become so self centered? Yes, I admit, new parents are fascinated with the product of their procreation - I can see that and it's understandable. But you are the only ones - no one else is really interested in all those nitty gritty details. I know that if I have kids, I'll be obsessed with every little detail, but I can promise you that I will never put an infant on the phone to "talk" to someone.

I wanted to see if people think we're on track to building a stable financial future. We accomplished the following in three years and want to see if we're heading in the right direction in setting our next three year financial goals. Here are the stats:

1. married, no kids, 33 yrs. old; 2. own house, $54k equity on $214k home, pay two extra payments a year; 3. $12k cash for emergencies; 4.save 25-30 percent in emergency savings and retirement accounts combined (before and after tax) per month; 5. $38k in investments (including 401k, 403b, RothIRA, stocks); 6. no credit card debt, no car payments (own two cars); 7. But, have $50k in student loan debt that we pay $600/month (more than the minimum, am trying to get rid of it fast even though rates are as low as 1.65%)

Is there anything else we should be doing? Or some area that we haven't addressed? Thanks for any and all suggestions!

Less than three years ago, we had about $32K in credit card debt and over $60K in student loan debt. We gave up our apartment, moved in with the in-laws and threw all our money at the credit card debt. Less than a year later, amazingly, we paid it off. Because we took care of our debt, my mother-in-law gave us a modest downpayment for a house, provided we also kicked in a percentage. It was something we expected, just something we decided to do. In the past year, we've built up our savings and are about to pay off our car. We still have the student loan debt. What is the best way to get rid of this debt. It's at about $50k still. We're stocking up our "emergency savings" account and Roth IRAs but it seems it will take another four years to pay off the student loans. Any advice? Tricks of the trade?

I'm 35 years old, got married last year, and am now five months pregnant. Both my husband and I have jobs (him - maintenance; me - admin for investment firm) and make a combined income of $70k. We rent a duplex for $850/month and some years ago (before I thought I would ever get married and have kids) decided to default on my student loans. Well, they're back with a vengence and I'm in repayment. We went to pre-marriage counseling who advised us to set aside a lump sum every month for each us to spend at will with no accountability. We go out to dinner about 3-5x a week and, in general, have a very busy social calendar. I also have a mani/pedi every week. These are the realities of our life. I like nice things and being pampered. However, we hardly have $1000 in our savings. We do have some put away in my work's 401k but that's it. I'm not worried about the $$ but my husband is. He wants to buy a house someday. Any advice for the reluctant?