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Should you believe your daughter (18yrs old) when she says that she's still a virgin?

I want to believe her but I'm really not sure if I can. She is very attractive and has a great shape I know she does have a few male friends. I love her and I only want the best for her I would hate for her to ruin her career by falling for the BS.

27 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    Chances are if you have a good relationship with your daughter she is telling you the truth. But you have to know that she is going to have a serious boyfriend sooner or later (and probably sooner) especially if she is attractive like you said. You just have to keep the lines of communication open with her and trust that she has good judgement and you raised her with proper morals. She will cross that line when the time is right for her...

  • 1 decade ago

    Then believe her and quit worrying until you get something to worry about.

    Even if she's telling the truth, it may be true today, but by next week it may not be true anymore. What are you going to do, keep a running check on your daughter's personal business and make yourself miserable along the way? Why?

    Take whatever answer she gives you, and don't ask her any more. If she's already sexually active, it's obvious she's not going to tell you, and if she's not, she's probably offended that you're doubting her word.

    You're putting her in a corner, in a contest for your approval which she cannot win. If she's a virgin now and she's telling the truth, it's not doing her any good because you don't believe her. If she's not a virgin, you're forcing her to lie to you, adding to her feelings of guilt.

    I had a really hard time dealing with the idea that my daughters might have been having sex, but even when you find out that they are no longer virgins, it is NOT the end of the world. You will survive.

    Your job is to make sure she knows you love her - no matter what - and you won't stop loving her, and wouldn't turn your back on her even if you're disappointed with her now and then.

  • 1 decade ago

    The only way you can be sure your daughter is telling you the truth is to be non-judgmental about it. In other words, you have to persuade her that it is fine if she is not a virgin, and that you will still love her just as much. Since you probably cannot persuade her of that, since it sounds like it matters to you that she is still a virgin, then you can never be sure that she is telling the truth. If she were no longer a virgin, she would never tell you that because it would disappoint you or make you angry at her. So maybe it is better that you just believe her, and what you don't know, won't hurt you.

  • 1 decade ago

    No reason not to trust her..... she is 18 and shouldn't have anything to hide from you at this point. I am assuming that the two of you have been very close and the communication lines have always been open to discuss whatever... with no judgement.

    Keep in mind that just because she say's she hasn't, doesn't mean you still cant keep educating her about the pro's and con's of being sexually active. We are mom's and that is our job regardless of their age.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    WELL LET me say this if she is really UGLY Or NERDY and has never been seen with a boy 1111no she is not lying..... IF she is ok looking and has had a boyfriend longer than six months SHE is lying threw her teeth.````````````` NOT always a true statement but your her MoTher you got the gut feeling THEN GO WITH IT BUT you know she will deny it nomatter what just make sure she is being safe....

  • 1 decade ago

    "Yes" If you are close to you're daughter and know who she is yes I wold believe her. Trust her to make the right decisions more so if you know she has a good head on her shoulders. Just let her know you will stand by her side but make sure she is aware of all the BS cause you know guys are crazy.

  • 1 decade ago

    What you have to think of first is were you a virgin at 18 and think about the times we are in now. (honestly, probably not)

    You have done what you can, and implemented your values into her, the only thing you can do now is trust her. And hope any decision she makes is the right one. And stand behind her in that decision. If she is having sex, hope that she is using protection.

  • 1 decade ago

    It's too late to worry about whether you can trust her or not now. That kind of trust has to be instilled from early childhood. If you could believe her that she cleaned her room or that she'd only go where she said she'd go, then it shouldn't be an issue now--regardless of the question.

    And as someone stated above, as hard as it may be to accept, it really isn't your business, now.

  • 1 decade ago

    Frankly, it's none of your business. As a parent of a 16 and a 20 year old...both girls...I have given both of them safety advice concerning sexual relations, and have tried to empower them personally through their lives. It is ultimately their decision.

    As long as you are confident in the parenting you have done so far, you have to trust her to make the right decision!

  • 1 decade ago

    you must not have much of a life!! it really is none of your business if she's is a virgin or not but the worst part about this whole mess is that you are asking strangers on weather you should or can trust your daughter or not that is your problem!!

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