Are you shallow? You know you are. How much are you able to admit to? Test the theory.?

Small bad habits??? You said "Every bad habit that you despise". lol

Very shallow people are ONLY concerned with outer appearance period. They do not take into account anything further. They are "concerned only with what is obvious" by definition. They won't even get to the halitosis or body odor or bad habits for most people, because they will immediately dismiss anyone who doesn't fit this perfect mold of whatever physical traits they find attractive. Once they select the qualified few, then, they'll narrow it down based on what is obvious when close -- body odor, halitosis, etc. Bad habits rarely play into the picture for truly shallow people. If they find someone who fits their mold, they'll gladly put up with bad habits, lack of intelligence, and awful personality just to be able to say "Look everyone, I got perfect-looking-person-for-me!"

The truth of the matter is, when it comes down to it, most people have some shallow tendencies (physically, I don't like dating men who are shorter than I am or too ridiculously skinny, I'll admit that), but in most cases, this is more a case of personal preference than anything else. There are women who adore men with big bushy beards over clean-cut men, even if the bearded man is a complete jerk and the clean-cut man is the sweetest man in the world. This makes them as shallow as the woman who'd choose pretty boy jerk over sweet bearded man.

So yeah, everyone is probably *a little* shallow because everyone has their preferences. It's a question of whether they can get past that bit of shallow if the perfect person comes along, or if they're going to dismiss that person because he/she lacks a single physical trait they're looking for.

Yes, you're right. No one will want to be with the bride of Frankenstein.

Obviously, someone who's 40 years someone's senior or junior is a simple compatibility question. They will have had no shared common experiences within each other's era to bond over. However, experience is something "that's inside".

Body odor? Halitosis? Someone that's not able to keep up their hygiene and grooming clearly lack self esteem, motivation or perhaps worth, suffer from some type of depression. Inside, again.

3. Addicts and abusers are of course, non negotiable

Bad habits though? Of all things that are "inside that count", bad habits fit the bill. There are smokers who love smokers, neat freaks who love neat freaks. Wimy/weak - but what about their songwriting abilities? .

All of us have those that we are compatible with. One man's trash is another's treasure and vice versa. Some men pine over Niocole Richie. But if they ever got to meet her (and let's say they were as rich and famous as she is), they'd probably find her to be a whiny, pretentious crybaby with no learned life skills or common sense.

I've tested the theory. It's what's inside that counts.

Okay, fair enough, obviously attraction is a large consideration. Yet, there's a fine line between maintaining a certain sense of normalcy, that is, keeping oneself in reasonable shape, showering, wearing decent clothers versus overcoming insecurity through outward artificial means such as breast implants and botox.

Further, look, if I'm not attracted to someone, then that's the way it is, and there are some people I finjd attractive and some I don't. Sara Jessica Parker? WTF? Honestly, how did she get to be a sex symbol with that nose?

Yet, I'll look at some women and instinctively think "Holy Ugly" and see a wedding ring on their finger. I, however, am not vain enough to assume that others don't do the same to me.

You make a valid point!

By THAT definition, everybody is shallow!

However, many of your criteria are not fair!

Society has conditioned to make some things unacceptable (drugs, extreme age differences, etc) As for the abuser, that doesn't make you shallow, that means you have self-respect enough to avoid a bad situation!

Shallowness, I believe, comes into play when someones standards are so strict that they almost completely alienate the entire gender.

Everybody is going to have dealbreakers! It is not about having standards. It is about MANAGING those standards so you can accommodate human weakness/frailty.

It's important that they take care of themselves so looks to me are important to some degree (i.e brush teeth, bathe, etc.) But as far as things that they didn't ask for like a big nose or a small member, that doesn't matter. Now there are some bad habits I'll accept, like smoking and drinking. I don't like it (smoking) but as long as he doesn't do it around me and show me some respect, he'll do (nobody's perfect). We all have our quirks...

I couldn't.

I'd kill myself.