Does this article on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome read well?

Question

I work with health and nutrition suppliments and have just written a long article on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. 

www.thehealthsuccesssite.com/Chronic-fatigue-syndrome.html

I want to know that it makes sense to people who are looking into this problem or if it needs to be either more technical or it it needs more details on how to work with this or if it is okay the way it is.

mistify · Accepted Answer

Just going through the first several paragraphs, there are many grammatical errors present.  For instance, your second sentence is not a complete one.  There are also many areas where commas are lacking or used inappropriately.  Finally, there are some word choices that leave the article sounding less-than-professional.  This includes instances where a sentence is ended with a preposition, etc.  "things which need to first be ruled out..."  should be "there are things which need to to ruled out first."

I would do some more proof-reading for organization, omission of redundancy, grammar and word choice.

helene m · Answer

For those who cant see the full link, here it is:

<A HREF=http://www.thehealthsuccesssite.com/Chronic-fatigu... target=new>Chronic fatigue syndrome</A>

I suggest everyone check it out if you have CFS.... I do, and I'm blown away by what you say here...

I'm sure you will get lots of help with designing this page, as you ask for. I think its great!

Does this article on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome read well?

2 Answers