Sister-in-law might lose custody of her kids. Could we foster them?

Question

My sister-in-law was reported to CPS and is being investigated along with the children's father. Things don't look very good. SIL and her two kids are living in a one-bedroom apartment with a friend and two other kids. My MIL is lying and telling CPS that they live with her. (SIL won't move in with MIL because they don't get along.) She's accused of using pills and cocaine. I know for a fact that she does pills. There's been reported domestic violence between her and her boyfriend (children's father). Her 3 year old was told me that "daddy hits me in the face." 

Long story short, there's a chance she might temporarily lose custody of her kids. My husband and I live out of state. Within the next six months we'll have a house, no debt, etc. We have a daughter that's a year younger than my SIL's two girls, so we're experienced parents. I don't want to see my SIL's kids go into the foster system. Could we potentially be foster parents for her children? If she was willing to sign over guardianship, would the system let us raise her children for a few years while she gets her life together. (Obviously, I'd want her to be around them as much as possible. I'd ask her to come live with us if she wasn't into drugs.)

Is there anything we can do to help?

cricketlady · Accepted Answer

There's More than just a chance she is going to lose her kids. The agency doesn't take long to get to the bottom of any 'mess.' And the workers are very good at what they do.Since family service is involved she doesn't have the power to sign over the kids to anyone. 

And if you were to get the kids placed with you---NO she WON'T be living with you. If that were to happen the kids would be gone FAST. That is entirely out of the question!!! A parent who loses her kids to foster care can NOT under any circumstances move into the same home where kids have been placed. If she isn't fit to raise them moving in with you doesn't make her any more fit!


NO, I do not see this happening at all---it would not be in the best interest of the children.

RoaringMice · Answer

You absolutely should be able to foster these kids. Contact CPS where they live. The courts, as others have mentioned, actually prefer that the kids stay with family, rather than being in foster care, so they should be interested in talking to you about this option. 

Know that your SIL's kids may be carrying some baggage. You don't live this kind of life and not have it affect you. So don't be shy about getting things like a social worker to help them, counsellors, tutors - whatever they need. 

Know that your SIL may get her life together, but she also may not. You need to be prepared, in case she does not. Addictions... You know the deal. 

You will want to be sure that someone is there, supervising any visits she does. The court may well order that, anyway - only supervised visitation. As you said, under no circumstances can she live with you, because of the drugs. And while it's great if she can be around the kids as much as possible, in reality, you need to make a judgement about what's best for the kids.

marcus · Answer

Dear Cricketlady. I am sorry for the inbreeding that led to you being such a moron. Family that is capable of taking care of children are chosen first when children are taken from their parents for neglect. How stupid are you? Second you flip out on a point the OP made themselves saying they wouldn't have her live there. Lastly you apparently have no idea of the inner working of CPS. They are NOT great at their jobs. They let children stay with bad parents repeatedly, they put children into foster homes where they are abused, and the parents basically have to allow molestation before they do anything to intervene. Parents mess up and they get their kids back in a few months every damned time. You're an uninformed moron. I have 20 bucks that says you're a middle class house wife with no job exp who knows nothing of the real world.

babygirl368 · Answer

I'm not sure if the rules are the same for every city (they are probably at least similar).  I live in Pennsylvania, and my cousin had to deal with the whole CPS thing and ended up having her 2 children taken away.  They actually prefer the children to go to a relative before putting them into foster care.  So I would definitely contact the case worker and see if that is an option for you guys.  I hope that everything works out for guys.  Good luck.

? · Answer

I would take immediate action before they are put in state foster care. You definitely could. Courts prefer that kids stay with family, if they are responsible and able and willing. Just so you know the court would control when she would see them, but they would most likely get supervised visits. Best of luck.

*SuMmEr* · Answer

Yes but take action now..Call your sil local DHS office and explain what's going on and ask them what you need to do..She probably won't even get the option to sign over guardianship, a judge will more than likely give it to you since you are already family.

CarbonDated · Answer

In my experience, the child will go to foster care unless GRANDPARENTS come forward.  Once it has been established that long term foster care will be involved, then you have a good chance for kinship care.   My suggestion is to let Social Services know that you would be willing to take the children. Keep in mind that you may not be eligible for a kinship care stipend, which means YOU will be supporting these kids.

? · Answer

yes, you can. you local child protective services office would rather family members look after the children of delinquent parents anyways.

my co-worker is currently fostering his brother's grandchildren.

Anonymous · Answer

Im pretty sure you would be alowed. My uncle and his wife adopted me and my brother so im sure your be able to.

? · Answer

Yeah, you can.

Sister-in-law might lose custody of her kids. Could we foster them?

10 Answers