What to say to someone with bad manners?

She's 40; she's used to behaving in such a manner and probably won't change her rude behavior.

You can decide to ignore her rude behavior and not let it bother you. If you know you're heading for a disagreement, change the topic or excuse yourself.

You can get her the book, but one of two things will happen. She'll either not bother to read it or she'll take it as an insult, in which case you've wasted your money. The best thing to do with people like her is to not engage her in the argument at all. And if she's the one that brings it up, either try and change the subject or just let her talk herself out about it without responding to anything she says. When it comes to subjects such as politics and religion people almost always already have their mind made up about it, and any opinion you give on the subject is automatically wrong. And with people who like to argue about it all the time, they thrive on trying to convince you about why you're wrong and why you should see it the way they do. About the only thing you can do with them is ignore them completely when they launch into their diatribe about it or tell them point-blank that you simply don't care about what they have to say about it and when they feel like acting an adult about the subject then you'll start debating it with them again.

Rude people do not take hints. Buying her a book would be a waste of your money.

Say in a kind voice, "My mama always said that religion [or politics, or money] is a personal matter, not something discussed in good company. Let's change the subject." If she persists, ask her, "Do you think it will rain tomorrow?" (and keep repeating it until she stops).

her problem doesn't have anything to do with etiquette. she is just threatened by your intelligence,she is arguing with you,or getting loud to upset you,there is something lacking in her personal life. compassion,shes lonely,looked down on,family problems. if you get her a book you will only anger her further towards you.but when she is alone it will make her cry and hurt her.her getting loud and arguing with you is a defence mechanisms,she has or is being abused by someone close to her heart.

If your conversations are in private then just enjoy the debate. If she is doing this in public, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or something and when you come back, start discussing something else.

Let her know what you think, but be subtle, many people are very sensitive ;). If she truely is a friend, she will respect your opinion and she might even change these habits you're speaking of.

I think you have to ask yourself why you are friends with this woman? It doesn't sound like she respects you at all. don't get a book, get another friend.

don't talk to her about politics anymore. sometimes you can't just completely stop talking to someone, but you sure can minimize how much you interact with them.

next time, throw a pie at her face.

Well, I suppose you should challenge her to a fight.