My poem #2, your comments apprecaited :-)?

Question

There she goes again
In the pouring rain.
Much pains
Displayed all over her face.
Fear in her eyes
She’s such a sorry sight.
Can’t tell the rain from the tears
The howling winds, did no favours.
Shivering from the cold
All alone.

Would you accept my outreached hands?
Come into the shelter, if you can
Where there’s warmth and comfort
Pair of listening ears and a caring heart.
Lean on a sturdy shoulder
To share your troubles
Let me get to know you better.

sharia · Accepted Answer

TK-
I think the poem speaks of your inner self. I think it speaks of your unspoken devotion.  It is delightfully soulful-- very simple but it delivers a clear message. Keep listening to the voice inside you.  And if you have more poems you can count on me to listen if you send me some.

Fun Fearless!! · Answer

Not really rhyming and it's very 'obvious'. Sorry to say that there is nothing special to comment on this poem. It looks like you are writing a letter, not a poem

Ol&#39; Sasquatch · Answer

You sound young!  Your poem has class and can be appreciated by many viewers.  Let others view this in places such as the starlight (or starlite) ??? cafe. Google it!  (been a while).

Tuff night!  If you find it check out poems by "BedThyme" ... Me!

IMHO - Continue to offer your entrys.

Best wishes ...

O' Sasquatch

Brenda R · Answer

very nice.
the line that say's can't tell the rain from the tears, what about can't tell the tears from the rain.
but i like the poem

mysticideas · Answer

i like this also, but it seems a little rushed, or something is missing, I can't put my finger on it.  On one hand you are watching someone in pain and on the other hand you want them to turn to you in there hour of need..........

im begging u to be my escape · Answer

wow ur really deep by my standards i wish i could write like that... but thats y i like to cry in the rain!!!!!<3's

My poem #2, your comments apprecaited :-)?

6 Answers