So if I run into my ex girl friend...?

hi.

(For those who cry and whine about this is a big question, you can leave now. This is the internet, I can write as long as I want. I need to make my point clear.) Thank you for clicking.

She was my first girl friend (well, now my ex).

Some of you here knows me, knows what I want in life, My desires in my future wife, things I have struggled, hurts, part of my life,.. etc.

Anyways, when she broke up with me, she really took the high route. It was a complete surprise and I didn't have the slightest clue, despite all the love I had for her. She gave me a note which said, not to contact her in anyway, she brought a friend along, and pretty much didn't even give me a chance to say anything much in return. I felt really cornered and beaten up. I was accused of many things, and some where absolutely ridiculous and many things were complete misunderstanding, that she could have simply asked me. But she was never a communicative person. I have tried so very hard to be as genuine, open and transparent with her, but she never would share anything. I always have to ask her questions, and even then her answers even to the most inane, trivial question would need me to ask 4 or 5 additional questions to know the big picture, which put a lot of stress on our relationship, which I actively brought up to her, but despite all that, I still loved her with all my heart. After-all, she was my first sweetheart and she found me, and pursued me. So it goes without saying, when she broke up with me in the most cruel way, I was terribly hurt for months. I was really sad, had to seek counseling and well my friends helped too.

As a guy who grew up guys of my age, and time, and somebody who spent the last 27 years of my life in college, I have seen tons of relationships, breakups, many marriages, have both good and bad friends. I can only speak for myself, but I know A LOT about guys. And personally, I didn't like how a lot of my guy friends are like when in comes to talking about girls, or whether it is discussion about girls. That doesn't mean all. I have very good decent close buddies too. I believe one girl for one man, for life all life, and I knew in my heart that I would find the right one. But as I learned the hard way, that is not true. As you can see, how awkward it is for me. I only held hands with one girl in my entire life. Only kissed one person. After she broke up, I felt really used, and betrayed. I felt angry anytime I see a girl closer to my age group, and avoided all parties, and common events for months, and hung out only with guys and now started attending a singles group. I now a "history" despite being super careful about getting into a relationship all my life. sigh! I've been getting better and becoming my old self slowly.

Well, so now that I am back, I started hanging out with friends. And yes, me and my ex have a lot of common friends, and it is only a matter of weeks before we are going to run into each other.

How should I conduct myself? She did say not to try communicate with her in anyway (it went into more details), it was hard to let her go, but she is definitely out of the picture. I need a woman who is more emotionally stable and who can be transparent and someone I can trust. And she proved it in the most splendid way that she isn't though it was late knowing and a surprise to me. So back to the question, should I stick to the standard, 'hi, how are you doing' ?, 'How is school, mom, brothers?' etc, not so genuine questions while keeping my composure, yet showing care, kindness and compassion or should I just completely avoid her (as her request). And trust me, everything in me want to avoid her. There is 6.5 Billion people minus one in my world right now. But I harbor no hate, bitterness or anger. Only pity. And don't want to look like a jerk, and want to still do the right and noble thing.

Well, what do you think?

Thank you for reading through.