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Heather asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 1 decade ago

Anyone else terrified of having a miscarriage?

My husband and I had been TTC our first child for 21 months. We just started seeing an RE in May who diagnosed me with PCOS. I was scheduled for laparoscopic surgery at the end of August to check my left tube as the HSG showed it to be abnormal and to check for endometriosis.

Surprisingly I just found out a week ago that I'm pregnant. According to my LMP, I'm seven weeks tomorrow, but since I ovulate late I'm really about 5 1/2 weeks along. Anyway, I have an ultrasound at my RE's office scheduled for next week and the only thing I can think about is that something is going to go wrong. When I had my blood test on Monday it showed my hCG level at 12,135 which the nurse said was fairly high but my progesterone was 16.3 which she said was low. I'm currenlty using progesterone suppositories now to increase my progesterone level.

Anyway, I'm thrilled that I'm pregnant, of course, but the excitement and happiness are overwhelmed by this fear that I'll miscarry. I'm sure the fear has something to do with the fact that it took me so long to get pregnant in the first place, but it just doesn't seem normal to me to be THIS scared of miscarrying. It's really all I can think about because when I think about having a baby, naming a baby, buying baby things and setting up a nursery, I just feel like it won't actually happen for me.

Does anyone else, whether it took you a long time to conceive or not, have this constant fear of miscarrying? I really just need to feel like I'm not alone.

11 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    I have 2 children and I was blessed with no difficulty on getting pregnant. However, I was just like you. I worried constantly that I may lose my child and I was plagued with thoughts of how I would feel and what I could have done. Thankfully nothing happened and both of my children were born just fine. ^_^ Also, it seemed it was mainly just with my first child. Years later when I had my second child I was not nearly as afraid.

    Rest assured you are not alone in your fears and they are justified. Just remember, should, God-forbid anything happen and you do miscarry, it is NOT your fault. It will hurt but you will be okay and it will work out as God has planned. Try not to worry, the more you worry the more stressed you are and that can be dangerous.

    Enjoy this pregnancy, it's one of the best feelings in the world.

  • 1 decade ago

    It only took us a month when we started trying but I always had a terrible feeling we couldn't have kids. So when I did get pregnant I was scared up until she was delivered then it was a whole new kind of scared. I was always scared I would go in and they wouldn't find her heartbeat or her cord would strangle her. The worry never goes away. Now that she is born I'm constantly worried checking her even at 7 months old! I think it is the mom in us and we can't help it. Now I'm worried all over again about not being able to conceive #2 when its time. It's just a cycle. I hope this helps to make you feel better. Chances are your baby will be fine and congrats on getting pregnant. All the worrying is worth it in the end when the baby is here and you get to smell and hold and feel them! Just take it easy and relax as much as possible try not to allow any stress in your life.

    Wait until you start checking for blood in your underwear every time you feel the slightest bit of wetness. That part sucks too.

    Source(s): Mama to 7 month old!
  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I know the feeling. I came from a family of 11 kids where there was just one incident of a still born, but besides that my mom had all healthy pregnancies. So when I first became pregnant (which I'm sorry to hear it took so long it only took us the first month) I wasn't very worried. We waited for the first appointment to make sure everything looked good so we announced it at 9 weeks. Then at 12 weeks I lost the baby. I was devastated because I had no idea there was a problem till it was over. I became pregnant again about 3 months later and I was terrified of everything. Ever strange pain or anything like that freaked me out so bad. Even when I had my first ultra sound at 9 weeks and saw a healthy looking baby with a good heart beat it didn't help all that much. So we actually waited till roughly about 14 weeks for some and 15 weeks for others to tell people we were pregnant. It was peace of mind when you don't have to tell everyone the bad news of losing a baby. So I understand how you feel, so I would just keep the news to yourself till you feel confidant about telling people about it. Good luck and have good thoughts. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    I AM SO SCARED OF MISCARRYING! Sorry for the intensity but I know exactly how you feel. I'm 9 weeks pregnant almost 10 weeks and I literally check like 5x an hour to see if I'm bleeding and my symptoms just disappeared last night so I got all hyped up and called my doctor and spent the load of time on Google today but apparently it's normal. But anyway-- yeah I'm really scared. I've seen my baby's heartbeat twice already and I know the miscarriage rate goes down but I'm a natural worrier and I let anxiety get the best of me all the time so it's really hard for me not to worry. I've talked to other Mom's and they said it didn't bother them much but I really don't know how they can NOT worry about it. I always am. I won't stop until I hit 21 weeks. I know what you mean about thinking about the baby, naming it, buying stuff, sometimes when I look at baby stuff I'm like why am I looking at this I don't need to. But then I'm like wait I'm pregnant I should be preparing! I thought I was the onlyone. I seriously know exactly how you feel. But stressing isn't good for you or baby so try not to stress. I'm trying really hard not to and just trying to enjoy my down time before my little one is here and taking over all my free time lol

    Source(s): 9 weeks pregnant
  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I understand how you feel. My pregnancy was unplanned but I was still terrified that I would lose the child that I had already fallen in love with. It didnt help either that my best friend had a miscarriage 2 months before I conceived. I made sure that I was taking care of myself 24/7 and following all the "rules". As weird as it sounds, I was also thankful for the morning sickness I had in weeks 9-15 because as long as there was sickness, that meant there were hormones in my blood. So I know that nothing will calm your fears but I know exactly how you feel.

    Source(s): 25 weeks 2 days pregnant with a very healthy little boy :)
  • 1 decade ago

    i think everyone has that fear.

    i got pregnant very easily both times although i have very irregular cycles, some signs point to PCOS, (which runs in my family) but never diagnosed.

    i am 13 weeks 2 days with #2. i had spotting in june, and was told my risk increased to 50% because of the spotting. I had an appointment on tuesday and saw my little one kicking and squirming all around and the flicker of the heart beat!

    ive relaxed a lot about the fear, but its always in the back of my head.

    and when your baby gets here, you will probably worry every second about SIDS. My son will be 3 in october and i still worry about it.

  • 1 decade ago

    definately! i have PCOS too, but i got pregnant first try (miraculously!) and i was terrified of MC from the moment i found out when i was 5 weeks. i spent everyday worrying about every ache and pain, and wanting the days to hurry up so it was another day i got through without having a miscarriage. finally i had my scan at 9 weeks a few days ago, and i was nervous as hell there was going to be something wrong. but there was my little bean with its heart beat ticking away! i still worry here and there, but i think its natural. xxx good luck

    Source(s): me, 9 weeks 3 days pregnant
  • 1 decade ago

    I'm completely terrified of miscarrying. My mother miscarried twice and my grandmother once. Just try and pray that God brings this new little angel into the world. Congrats!

  • 1 decade ago

    when you have been TTC for along time you think once you get pregnant you will lose it cause you worked so hard for that bundle the baby is not going to go anywhere but if you keep stressing it will did that help

  • 1 decade ago

    I've always been terrified of having a miscarriage. Just be calm and trust your doctors.

    Source(s): Two pregnancies. Two miscarriages. Still trying.
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