Husband doesn't appreciate anything I'm trying to do: What should I do?

You and he have to have a serious conversation about respect.

You both have to respect each other and support each other. Maybe you both ought to join a gym that's kid-friendly so you can bring the kids with you when you both go and work out.

The YWCA and YMCA and a host of gym chains offer child care facilities so you can do your workout together.

As far as the rest, you and he should be working on getting the kids used to both of you settling them down and putting them to sleep, etc. Instead of fighting each other, just work together.

Obviously the money you and he bring in is what you need to support your family. Don't blow it sniping at each other. Life's too short. Besides if you guys finally get past all of these little things, you might have time to have fun together.

He's not angry that you never do anything, but right now with you on unpaid maternity leave you are neither bringing in the 4000 a month or (so far as he's concerned) working as hard as he is. He has a specific time he has to be up and be in the office - you don't right now. So cut some slack, forget about it and see what happens after you are back at in the office working.

Maybe you should appreciate the hard work he puts in so you can take a year off and not have to work. My wife quit work after we had kids and it stayed that way for 10 years till we divorced. Never said thank you or showed any appreciation. She bitched and moaned at me for not spending time with kids. Tough, I was out earning a living to support her and her expensive tastes.

I will agree with the above, marriage is not a pissing contest (I did more than you, you didnt do enough etc) its about joint effort, cooperating and sharing. Sure kids are hard work when they are young but its only for a couple of years. Your husband will be at it for another 20-30 probably.

Ah, yes, another refugee from the I-need-validation-generation. You don’t need to be continually patted on the head like a little dog, in order feel good about what you do for the two of you as a couple. The doing of it, and doing it well, and you acknowleging to yourself that you’ve done it well, is all you need. Start being your own cheerleader and stop looking around for his approval. I don’t need my husband showering me with sunshine for doing the laundry, or cleaning the floors. I did it because I like clean clothes and a dirt-free floor. I’d still be doing it, without praise, if he wasn’t here at all. If your hubs dropped dead tomorrow, no one would be getting effusive over the fact that you work part-time, and get up with the baby. Get used to being the beginning and end of your own approval system - it will cause you a let less of those I-need-someone-to-tell-me-how-wonderful-I-am feelings.

He's a man. He's being a whiny baby. They can be like that sometimes...If his complaining gets to be too much - put him in check over it or start changing the subject and don't discuss it anymore.

Oh, and on the work out thing...tell him that you are going out for XX time and will be back later...don't ask. Your health is not something that will be compromised on when he is perfectly capable of fathering his children. Then do what you say...go, workout and come home after.

Problem: Today, he got upset with me because he was up with our two year old who wouldn't go back to sleep.

Solution: Let him be upset. His upset is HIS problem, not YOUR problem. Don't let it become your problem.

Problem: He doesn't really want to watch the kids so that I can go work out a couple times a week.

Solution: NONE of us get everything in life we want. So he doesn't want to. Oh well - too bad so sad for him. Go work out a couple times a week.

Problem: how can I get him to appreciate what I do for us?

Solution: You can't, and you should stop expecting that YOU should be able to dictate to your husband how HE should feel.

You've turned into your mom. Haven't you?

Didn't she take care of the planet while dad complained and she smiled?

Forget appreciation. It won't change the unfairness, which will grind through appreciation like Fox News at a Democratic convention.

Change what's fair. He's capable of much more, just like you discovered in yourself. Hand it over like he was an adult, not your teenage son.

Tell him that you contribute and it doesn't do your marriage any good to try to suggest that he works harder than you do because he job is harder. Both jobs are hard, you are financially contributing, and he should stop complaining about the unequal labor between you. You should talk about yours stressors because why would you keep this to yourself? That is just stupid and martyr like behavior on your part. You need support as well!

Your husband needs to man up. They're his kids too. Heck yeah, I'd be pitching a fit. You're suppose to be on maternity leave but you're working too. His sleep in no more precious than yours.

Sounds like you have incredibly high expectations of yourself and have simply been doing too much!

Well, you'll be back to work in no time( being brilliant) and being super mom (when she can) and home maker and super wife ( who's under appreciated) and juggling a busy life and a fiscally secure lifestyle. It seems likely that your husband is overwhelmed by what you do and knows that he can't come close to competing on, likely, any front.