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Rude to tell building employee that he can use my first name (instead of my last name)?
I live in a large condominium building, and most residents and building employees are on a first-name basis. One employee calls me by my last name (“Good morning, Mr. Smith!).
It’s a classy thing for him to do, but I see him almost every day and we ought to be friends by now. I like him.
Is it rude of me to let him know that he can call me “John”? Or should I just call him by his last name, too (it’s Greek and I may screw up the pronunciation unless I ask someone else who works there how to pronounce it).
It’s very polite of him to use my last name and I don’t want to indicate disapproval of his politeness, and maybe he remembers my last name more easily than my first name.
Thanks.
6 Answers
- FoofaLv 73 months ago
One suspects he's under instruction to do this and would get in trouble if anyone heard him call you by your first name. You can always offer that but don't be surprised if he won't informalize the relationship.
- bluebellbkkLv 73 months ago
Of course it's not rude to say, with a smile, "Oh do call me John!" the next time he says "Hello, Mr Smith".
If he then starts to call you John, then after he's done that maybe three or four times you can start using his first name too, without necessarily asking his permission.
But if he just says "OK" but DOESN'T actually start using "John", then let it go and stick with his surname.
- LiverGirl98Lv 73 months ago
You decide how you want this person to address you, then act accordingly.
- Anonymous3 months ago
Telling him that he MAY call you by your first name is kindly. Insisting that he do so is not. Some feel that this sort of familiarity reduces the dignity of the relationship between a service person and the person served. If this person prefers to address you as Mr. Smith, respect that preference.
- HMFanLv 73 months ago
No, I don’t think that’s rude, but you should let him decide what he wants to call you. And unless he tells YOU you can call HIM by HIS first name, keep calling him Mr. So-and-so.
